


I won't hurt you.

by ambientbliss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Feels, Hurt!Stiles, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Masturbation, Stiles makes mistakes, Violence, jealous!Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8138434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambientbliss/pseuds/ambientbliss
Summary: ** Unbeta'd ** I don't own Teen Wolf.They were passed this. Stiles wasn't afraid of Derek anymore. So why the hell was he so jumpy, and what is making him do the things he does. Can Derek figure it out?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for more fanfic's and other Teen Wolf Stuff!!!
> 
> halestil24.tumblr.com

Stiles had gotten over being afraid of Derek. Right? It has been years. The pack was finally united, and everything was going pretty well. Until pack night. Everyone was sprawled around the living room of the newly renovated Hale house. Derek sat next to Stiles, as usual. Now that they were closer, realizing that Stiles was his mate made it easier for Derek when it came to being around Stiles. Especially when he could smell the arousal coming off the teen. The now 18 year old. 

They had all been watching the grudge due to Kira’s request, and Derek thought they needed more popcorn. In his attempt to maybe get Stiles to follow him to the kitchen, he brushed his thumb across the side of Stiles’s neck as he stood. Stiles flinched away from Derek’s touch. That was new. Derek fixed on his confused eyebrows and looked at Stiles who just shrugged. “Sorry you startled me.” His voice quiet so the other wolves wouldn’t hear him. 

Even with the theatrics of the movie, Derek could hear the uptick in Stiles’s heart telling him that it was clearly a lie. His hand had been on Stiles’s shoulder for a few moments before he touched his neck and he didn’t jump then. Of course Derek didn’t say anything, and he continued on his mission for more popcorn. Also observing Stiles the rest of the night.

Derek was willing to forget the little blunder, until the pack was getting ready to leave and Stiles bolted from the house. He would usually stay and help Derek put things away, stand too close, bump shoulders while they did the dishes and then he would go home. Not this time. This was out of the ordinary, especially for Stiles. 

+++

Stiles managed to hold off the panic until he got home. Then when he was secure in his room, alone, he let himself panic. He could still feel where Derek’s thumb had brushed his skin, and his hands shook as he raised them to rub that spot. A few weeks ago Derek touching his neck would have made him come in his jeans. But Stiles had made a choice and it was the worst possible one. 

For Stiles’s birthday everyone went out to the Jungle. Derek didn’t want to go and that of course put Stiles in a mood. Derek was playing hard to get, and Stiles knew just how to put him on werewolfy edge. So he found some hot guy at the Jungle, someone who looked kind of like Derek, and he went home with him. It was hot until the choking started. He nearly passed out twice, and the pain was excruciating. What was supposed to be a fun little fling turned into abusive sex, with no climax for Stiles and nightmares to follow. 

So now Stiles wakes up gasping for air with the vision of Derek choking him burned into his eyelids. Sometimes, when he is particularly masochistic he thinks that if the guy didn’t look like Derek this wouldn’t be bad, and it wasn’t Derek so it shouldn’t be this bad. Today was one of those days. When Stiles finally calmed himself down, he slipped his hand into his pants wrapping it around the hardening flesh. Stroking himself while he thought of Derek. How they would make physical contact sometimes, or how Derek would smile, and when he was close he would imagine Derek grunting his name and then nothing. Stiles would get so close, but he just couldn’t finish.

Research shows that trauma can do that to you, but Stiles knows that Derek wouldn’t want him now. Not after he slept with someone else, and let them do what they did. It is never a surprise when Stiles wakes up almost screaming after that. Sometimes he wonders why he sleeps at all. 

+++

It had been about a week since the last pack night, and Derek was planning another. It was spring break and the pack wanted to spend as much time together as possible before everyone made their college decisions. There had been radio silence between him and Stiles the whole week, which didn’t help Derek at all. He hardly slept, and every time he thought about texting Stiles he didn’t know what to say. How can you apologize for something you didn’t know you were doing?

So his attempt to fix this was a pack sleep over. There were enough rooms in the house, but someone would have to share, and he figured maybe it could be him and Stiles. He was almost giddy when he suggested that Stiles room with him. No one questioned it, and Stiles seemed a little surprised and excited. So maybe this would fix things after all. 

The whole pack gorged themselves on pizza, and watched a whole season and a half of the Walking Dead before everyone started heading for their respective rooms. “I’m going to lock up and shut everything down if you want to head up and change or whatever.” Derek mentioned to Stiles as he was putting the dishes into the dishwasher. 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Stiles climbed the stairs trying to calm himself. He was so freaking excited to sleep in the same room, possibly the same bed as Derek. He changed into his gym shorts and a tshirt and just sat on the edge of the huge bed waiting for Derek. When Derek came into the room he was wearing low hanging sweatpants and no shirt. Stiles was pretty sure that his brain short circuited. “So lights out?” Derek suggested. Stiles nodded. Not trusting his voice.

Derek turned off the light and climbed into the bed. Stiled followed suit. “I think pack night was successful.” Derek mumbled loud enough for Stiles to hear. “Yeah… It, uhm… yeah we should do this… that. We should do that again.” Stiles sounded nervous, and he was kicking himself for it. “Stiles, are you afraid of me?” “What? No. God no.” Lie. Derek heard it before Stiles even opened his mouth. Derek could feel Stiles clench his fists at his side. Ever since they started brushing shoulders Derek has been hyper aware of Stiles’s movements. It was clear that Stiles was scared of something, and he didn’t know what he did to make him this skittish.

The urge to confront him about it was so strong that Derek had to clench his jaw shut so tight he thought he would break it. “So uh… night Derek.” The sound of Stiles’s voice threw Derek off. It sounded kind of disappointed, yet on edge. “Yeah,” Derek sighed. “Night Stiles.” He spent the next hour or so listening to Stiles’s heart slow to a steady rhythm. Realizing he hadn’t heard the boy this calm in a while now. It was so soothing, he fell asleep quicker than usual. It had to have been almost 4 am when Derek was woken. The thumping of Stiles’s heart was erratic, his breathing was short and rapid. From what Derek could tell he was still asleep, but he was tossing his head viciously back and forth. “Stiles?” Derek tried to wake him. “Stiles? Hey. STILES!” His hand gripped the boy’s arm. Before the renovations the pack would have stormed into the room, but soundproofing dulled everything to a muffled rumble.

Stiles’s eyes shot open as he gasped for air. His body was recoiling away from Derek and all the wolf could smell was terror. That hit him right in the stomach. What the hell had he done? “Stiles?” The teen huffed in oxygen, calming himself. The smell of terror ebbed away into anxiety. Stiles’s hands were shaky as he ran them through his hair. Derek just sat there staring at Stiles while he checked himself. Watching as his hands checked his clothes, and the back of his head, and his neck. Derek didn’t dare move until he heard Stiles’s heart steady. “I’m… uh… I’ll be right back.” Lie. Derek was really getting tired of Stiles lying to him. The teen grabbed his jeans and headed out to the hall bathroom. At least that was where he wanted Derek to think he went. Instead he practically ran to the stairs, then out to the Jeep. 

++++

When Stiles got home he locked himself into his room, and made sure to lock the door. Knowing it would only be a matter of time before Derek came asking questions. He knew that he couldn’t lie to the werewolf much longer, frankly he was surprised he got away with so much now. The reality of what just happened hit him, and he sat down on the side of the bed. Only the light from his lamp lighting his face. Stiles felt like there was something seriously wrong with him, especially because he really wanted Derek. 

Stiles didn’t know that Derek was outside his window, watching as he followed the typical routine. He didn’t stay long enough to see that Stiles wouldn’t finish, but he would punch the wall and sit on the floor, crying, and he wouldn’t sleep. He would just stare at the floor in a daze for hours. Until his phone buzzed. 

Derek:  
Pack meeting. 1pm.

He sat there staring at the screen for a few moments. Usually Derek sends something snarky to Stiles when there is a pack meeting, but this was straightforward. Noticing the time, he quickly showered, washed the cuts on his hands and headed over to the Hale house assuming he would be the last one there. 

When he pulled into the driveway he only saw the Camaro. Unease settled in his stomach as he walked through the house and saw no one. Stiles sat down on the side of Derek’s bed, where he had been sleeping the night before. He looked up to see Derek shutting the door behind him. “Where’s the rest of the pack?” Anxiety bubbled in his stomach. “Not coming.” Derek’s tone was short, clipped. He was angry and Stiles could tell. “Sorry I left. I know ditching on pack nights and meetings is a huge thing for you.” Stiles wouldn’t make eye contact with Derek. He couldn’t. 

“Does being terrified of me get you off?” Derek barked out. Anger lacing his voice was like a slap to the face. “W-what?” “Yes or no Stiles.” “No.” Lie? Derek couldn’t tell but it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “Really?” Stiles’s eyes snapped to Derek’s. “What the hell makes you think that?” his voice was weaker than he wanted it to be. “I want to know why you are suddenly scared of me as if I was going to rip your throat out.” That made Stiles flinch. “See! THAT! You are terrified of me, yet as soon as you left last night you went home and got off on it! I saw you Stiles!” Before Derek could say anything else he smelt blood. From where the cuts were splitting again on Stiles’s knuckles. “What did you do Stiles?” his voice was softer now. That was when Stiles lost it. “Oh so you didn’t stay to see the rest of the show? The embarrassment of myself not being able to get off, then punching my fucking wall… again… then crying. Yeah. Crying sitting on the floor until I got your text. I didn’t sleep. I don’t fucking sleep Derek. Yes I am terrified, no… to answer your question. No I obviously do not get off on it!” 

Derek stared back at Stiles trying to sort out what the hell just happened. He was right. Derek didn’t stay. He left. He was mad because he was selfish. “I made a mistake, and it really messed me up Derek.” The wolf sat down on the bed next to Stiles. Like they had many times before. “Stiles what did I do to make you so scare of me?” That’s what hit Stiles. Derek thought this was his fault. “I did something, you didn’t.” He lifted his hands to scrub at his face. He knew he had to tell Derek. He had to tell someone. “Stiles.” 

“Do you remember that night that the pack went to the Jungle and you were being an ass and didn’t want to go?” Derek snorted a little, no doubt he was remembering their little snarky conversation about it. “Well, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to try and make you jealous because in my fucked up mind I thought that maybe you would want me.” Derek tried to speak to tell Stiles that was all he wanted, but the teen continued. “I found someone that kinda looked like you, tall dark and broody. And I… I went home with him.” 

Stiles’s leg started to bounce. It was fun until I almost passed out twice from lack of oxygen, and that I didn’t come. Then it was nightmares and sexual frustration for this kid. The worst part about it was that I decided it would be a good idea to go home with someone that looked like you.” Derek was dead silent. He thought he was going to be sick. “So no, I wasn’t technically lying when you asked me if I was afraid of you. God I wanted it to be you, I really did.”

The silence was thick in the room. Stiles was about to get up and leave when Derek spoke. “That’s why you smelt different. That is why you jumped when I touched your neck. I just don’t understand why you go home…” Stiles cut him off. “I don’t picture him, or even what we did. I picture you and all the subtle touches that aren’t as subtle as you think they are, and the banter and what could’ve been. But then I can’t breath and I can’t finish, and I’m broken.”  
“You know I would never… I wouldn’t do that to you. You know that right? You have to know that I wouldn’t do that to you. Ever. If I did, I would… burn this house down around me.” Stiles’s head snapped to look at Derek. Who was on the verge of tears. “You are not a Kate, Derek. You didn’t do any of this to me, not really. Not physically.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean, not physically?” Stiles looked away from Derek. “Nightmares Derek. They are not fun, especially when it is always you at the end. God I know you wouldn’t. Why would you even want to. I am a broken toy.”

“Stiles, you are not a toy. You are a god damned person. I got mad because I was selfish. I thought having you in bed next to me, I thought maybe that would… all I can smell off of you when you are not anxious or scared is arousal Stiles. I was hoping maybe you felt the same way I do about you.” Stiles rested his hand on Derek’s thigh. “For the record, you did make me jealous.” 

“Mission accomplished.” Stiles mumbled. “A stupid mission, with a price. I won’t hurt you.” Stiles knew that was a promise.


End file.
